Hike Number 2: Hashawha

 

For my second hike, I headed out to a local Environmental Center that has several trails.  I hike here often as it's close, offers a nice bathroom in the Nature Center and has enough trail options to be able to tailor your hike to several different mileage lengths.
The weather was still cold.  I think the dashboard temperature reading showed 12 degrees.  I'm pretty much over the frigid temperatures.
The small pond at the beginning of the trail was frozen pretty thick.   I don't know what it is about frozen water and the way it whispers to you, "Come on, walk on my, I'm solid."  I always manage to resist because, you know, hypothermia. We ended up doing what has become our usual hike at Hashawha that is about 3 miles long.  It takes us past the raptor cages where I always hoot a greeting to the resident owls.  They don't hoot back, in fact, one turned his back on me.  The lower portion of the trail follows a stream before coming to the larger pond on the property that you cross using a series of boardwalks.  There were still icy patches on the stream, and one section looked pretty cool with the water running under the ice.  It was cold, but the sun was strong, so I was almost sweating towards the last portion of the trail.  As always, I was pleased I had pushed myself to go.  It seems every time it's cold out, I start talking myself out of going outside.  But in the end, getting some exercise in the outdoors helps clean out some of the winter head fog.

Escaping Stress

 

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

~Wendell Berry

Pine Grove Furnace

This past weekend, myself, my husband and my cousin  drove out to Pine Grove Furnace State Park to hike a section of the Appalachian Trail out and back.  We're getting close to our departure date for our trip, so we're trying to get ready.  Some of us are testing out how injuries are healing to see how we do and some of us are working on fine tuning our packs to get the weight and fit just right.
The weather was a little iffy at first.  Winds had been gusting to 60 MPH the night before and while they had died down some it was still quite blustery out.  And it was cold.  It gave me a chance to try out the $5.00 base layers I purchased on clearance at Walmart.  I'm happy to report that a top base layer, a long sleeve moisture wicking top and my Columbia Omni-Heat jacket were sufficient to keep me warm.  In fact, I had to unzip halfway through because I was sweating. On the bottom, I only had on a pair of fleece lined leggings (also a Walmart clearance steal) and I was good to go.  Should the weather be chilly, that will be the clothing I plan to wear.  Clothing is my one issue at this point.  The weather is so up and down (it was almost 80* 2 days before this), I won't be able to really make a choice until closer to the time we leave.
Our goal was to hike a mile or two, eat lunch then turn around and head back to the cars.  We ended up hiking 2.9 miles before stopping.  In total, we hiked just shy of 6 miles (5.8) in 3 hours and 30 minutes which includes the time we spent eating lunch.  All three of us were pleased with our pace, especially since the start was a steady incline.  I had to stop and take a few breaks on the way up and still we made decent time.  I was carrying about 19 pounds in my pack, and I was pleased with how well I did.  Those of us who are nursing injuries also did well and were encouraged that we didn't have any significant issues. 
All that is left for me to do is to start packing and deciding what goes and what stays based on need and weight.  I want to try to keep the pack around 20 pounds as much as possible.  I'm hoping for warmer temps because that means lighter clothing.
It was a really great hike full of positives- beautiful day, no problem with injuries and a faster hiking time than expected.

I'm Baaack

Well, we've finally picked a date to try our backpacking trip again.  This time we'll be going towards the end of  April around Earth Day, which I thought was a fitting time to go.  What better way to celebrate the Earth than to be out in nature.  Hopefully we won't have any Nor'Easters or Hurricanes or, heaven forbid, Blizzards to deal with.  We'll definitely need to be more careful about hanging our food as the bears will be out and hungry.
So now it's time to stop pretending this blog doesn't exist and get back to posting progress while getting into shape.  After we had to end out trip in October early without even kind of finishing, I just didn't want to think about it.  I was seriously disappointed at not finishing, a feeling that was magnified by others who drove home the sense of failure by their comments.  So I stopped working out and gained 20 pounds.  Did this make me feel better? Of course not.  And now I need to work harder to get into shape enough to make the trip.  I'm determined, and after experiencing the AT overnight, I know I really need to work on certain muscle groups. So stay tuned for Take 2 and read along while I whip myself into shape and talk about the things I learned on that one night trip and changes that will be made.

The Pit of Despair

Westley: Where am I?
Albino: The Pit of Despair! Don't even think... don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. (from The Princess Bride)


I debated whether I wanted to write this post, but since I wanted this journey to be transparent for myself and others, I decided I needed to.  Things in my life became more difficult over the last week or so.  My husband lost his job.  I won't go into those details because they don't really matter, but know it's not because of anything he did wrong.  Anyway, this created a problem for me.  My husband is the one who had the health care.  With no job there is no health care and with no health care there is no way to afford the 6 (or 7 I don't remember) prescriptions I have to fill every month or the regular doctor's visits I have with the regular blood work I get.  It also means no way to afford physical therapy.  Without PT my piriformis syndrome issue can't be resolved and if that can't be resolved I can not physically hike.

If I can not physically hike then there's no possible way I can manage 40 miles on the Appalachian Trail.  Which means, I can't go on this trip.  This is what had me in the Pit of Despair.   

I'll be the first to say depression sucks.  And I'm not talking about the kind of depression where you're just a little sad about something happening, like your hamster died.  I'm talking about the medical illness caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.  I'm talking about depression that changes your normal daily life- interferes with your sleep, your ability to work and your everyday activities.  It steals your motivation and sucks the enjoyment out of activities you normally enjoyed.  For instance, if gardening usually helps you with stress levels and makes you feel better mentally, you can not get out and garden.  Deep down you want to, you might know it will help, but the depression won't let you.  You don't want to go into the garden and work because you don't care (or more accurately don't want to care).  It takes a long time to motivate yourself to do whatever it is you want to do, and if the smallest thing happens that changes your plans, you say "Forget it! I knew I shouldn't have bothered to do xyz! It's not worth it!" 

I want to also add that you should never tell someone who suffers from depression that being happy is a

choice.  For most people I guess it can be, you can choose to laugh things off.  For those with depression the choice isn't yours.  It isn't that you are choosing not to be happy/content it's that being happy is an emotion you can't even muster.  There is nothing more frustrating for me than someone telling me I need to choose to be happy.  Because yeah, I'm choosing to eat my weight in Nutty Bars, sleep all day and not experience anything remotely close to happiness. 

Anyway... back to hiking.  The thought of not being able to do this trip sent me careening into the Pit of Despair.  This trip was more than a fun way to celebrate turning 40.  It wasn't just an adventure.  It was one of the things I had listed as something I wanted to accomplish before I was 40 that I could actually accomplish before 40.  I had accomplished nothing else on the list.  Nothing.  And that made me feel like a failure (here's where I say don't tell me I'm not a failure.  I feel like one and telling me I'm not one is invalidating how I feel- boy I'm up on all sorts of soap boxes today!).  Without going into too much detail, the last decade or so, I dealt with a lot of things.  Things that can be considered emotional and psychological abuse, and things that were extremely high stressors.  Some of the things I dealt with actually had me stop writing.  I haven't written anything other than blog posts in 15 years- and prior to that I was editor of an award winnging college literary magazine and a published poet.  I lost who I was.  I no longer knew myself.  My life was not what I imagined or wanted it to be.  And then, I planned this hiking trip.  Suddenly I was getting passionate and excited about something.  I was going to accomplish something that I wanted to before I was 40 AND it sparked a desire to write a book (also on the list of things to accomplish) that I began working on feverishly.  And then, like that. It was done.  Dreams squashed again.  All because I hurt my butt a year ago and didn't realize it until I hiked with a pack on my back.

It's been a long week for me and everyone around me.  There's been rivers of tears, nasty attitudes, anger, woe and violent out bursts where I throw tennis balls and break glass (just a photo frame, not a window).  I stopped doing my PT exercises because why bother? 

 Then, I had 2 dreams both featuring my deceased grandmother and both occurring on some trail in the woods.  In the first I'm laying sprawled on the trail wailing and my grandmother is standing there holding one of my hiking poles and says "Get up or I'll crack you with this!" and in the second we're on a wooded rocky trail and I'm having a pity party and she's holding my pocket knife- open- and says "Get up and start hiking or I'll crack you with this!" (the I'll crack you with this is something she often said to myself and my cousin- and truthfully, we probably needed some cracking).  If you know me and my paranormal background, you know I believe these weren't random silly dreams but actually visitation dreams.  My grandmother, who I was close to, was telling me in no uncertain terms to knock it off.

So last night I told my husband the hike had to happen.  I have no clue what's going to happen with my injury, but for now I'm going to keep doing the exercises and having my husband work on massaging the area to help work out the knots in the muscle.  I'm going to lay off the training for a bit longer to give the muscle time to heal, and hopefully it will be okay.  And if it's not, I'll push through it.

Because this hike is happening.

Hiking at Gettysburg

 Once again, the weather threw a wrench in our weekend hiking plans. 

 Our area received 12 inches of snow this past Thursday, 

and that meant 12 inches of snow on the trails.  

So we took off to Gettysburg Battlefield again. 

Feeling a little more adventurous, we decided to go off road a bit and try one of the trails.

Of course, you can't actually see the trail when it's covered with 12 inches of snow. 

 I'm fairly certain that we were following more of a deer trail,

 if we were even following a trail at all.  

But that didn't really matter since the sun was shining

 and the temperature was near 50 degrees.

My son told me several times that if he didn't have his new trekking poles 

and hiking boots

he would have probably fallen off the "mountain"

(it was barely a hill, no steep drops, no cliffs just a gentle sloping hill).

We hiked to a peaceful spot along Rock Creek.

And I tried distracting the 8 year old 

by pointing out tracks in the snow 

and teaching him how to identify them.

(these are rabbit prints).

In total, we did about 3.5 miles

which isn't bad for throwing together a plan last minute.

Hoping next week we'll get to do something a little more strenuous.

Getting Out There

Sunday, I made it out on the trail.  Well, not the trail, but a trail at a local state park.  I was joined by my husband, mother and friend who are also going on the big hike plus my son and my friend's son and husband. The trail was muddy and mostly covered in snow, but the temperature was in the low 40's and the wind had stopped. 
Even though this trail is only about 20 minutes from my house, it was the first time I had been on it. The trail is about 1.5 miles and works its way around Lake Marburg.  It's the steeper of the 2 trails there in the park, so it gave us the opportunity to start working on climbing hills.  It also provided insight into who was more adept at following the trail (my husband won't be navigating) and what some of the concerns might be (my husband is worried about food).
This has been the best hike out of the few I've managed so far this year.  Though not as long as I had hoped, it did offer some different terrain.  While going to the gym and working out is definitely something that is needed, nothing compares to actually going out and hiking the trails.  Letting your body experience the actual conditions you're working on tackling (like terrain) prepares you more than working on the smooth elliptical or treadmill.  And nothing compares to being out in nature, which is also a mood booster.  All in all, it was a great way to spend some time in the afternoon with friends and family.  And did I mention not once did my 8 year old ask "How much further" or "Are we almost done" or "Can we go back", instead he asked if we could turn around and hike it again in the opposite direction. Though we didn't turn around and hike back (though part of me is sorry we didn't), we do plan on going out at least once each weekend to hike various trails in the area.  There will also be some overnight trips planned once the weather improves.  I am beyond excited about all of it, not just the actual trip (though I'm soo ready to go!) but all the preparing leading up to it.  Knowing there are going to be regular hikes each week gives me something to look forward to.
So, for those of you dealing with the winter blues or SAD or depression or couch potatoitis, get out there.  Take your kids and go outside and hike.  It really does make you happier. 

Photo of 4 out of the 7 of our motley crew of hikers who 

will be braving the section hike in October.